In my teenage years, someone asked me what my greatest fear was in life, to which I answered in a trembling voice, “I fear that I am unlovable, therefore I fear no one loves me”
At that point in my life I was so desperate to be loved, yet because of the deep wounds in my heart and life, I was unknowingly pushing anyone away that tried to love on me. It was my security, to make sure people were safe before I allowed them to get too close or I allowed myself to let them see a glimpse of who I really was.
I didn’t spend my childhood in a culture that was centered on love, instead any thing regarding the subject of love was scorned, the very word love was constantly mocked. In fact it was regarded as a sign of being weak, the need to be loved, something that only the holier than thou people did.
I didn’t know that the daily yearning for love that I felt in my heart, was simply something that is a part of every human being. I thought there must be something wrong with me, because everyone else didn’t seem to struggle like I did. I just wanted to hear from those close to me, that I was loved.
My continuous search and need for love seemed to always be getting in my way, it always seemed to step in at the wrong time, but now actually I see now where God was intervening and protecting me. He such a good good Father like that❤️
The God size ache in my heart seemed to grow on the daily. It drove me to some crazy extremes, and I was running myself ragged in my constant pursuit of just wanting to be loved.
The Lord doesn’t leave his children as orphans, No He does Not! He works in His wondrous ways, often through His children, allowing them to be His hands and feet to the hurting, the lost, and the ones who just need to be loved.
I will never forget the day, or the days when I began to get a glimpse of God’s love for me, and that all this time my small feeble version of what love should look like wasn’t love at all. The Lord wrecked my feeble view of what I thought love looks like and overwhelmed me with His gracious Love. Experiencing it is absolutely amazing, and He is so kind and gracious.
To sum up all of the above, if someone you know is in need of love. Just know that God may be asking you to be His hands and feet and to show love to them. Don’t be offended if they push you away the first 20 times, just remember Love never fails even after the umpteenth or the hundredth time.
“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
Laundry is common thing to every housewife and/or mama. Some days it may feel like a mundane task, because the laundry basket never seems to stay empty for very long at all. I mean, it just feels rather overwhelming at times.
But here’s the thing.
I love doing laundry.
I always have and probably always will.
What a joy to put smelly clothes into the washer and just an hour or so later, you have clean, fresh smelling laundry.
Ahh! So satisfying.
But here’s the kicker.
I don’t like folding laundry and putting it away.
I don’t like it sitting in the laundry basket either.
I enjoy the satisfying feeling of once it’s all done, as in folded and put away.
But folding and putting away, uhm meh😳🥴My general plan consists of just getting the laundry folded and put away as soon as it drys, that way it’s done and I can move on to other things. You know, fun things that I actually enjoy.
But God took me to a place far past the laundry basket being empty, far past being caught up with laundry, I mean it’s not like it’s a status thing to be caught up on laundry, yes it’s nice but there’s more important things.
Here’s where God took me and it challenged me. Would I rather have an overflowing laundry basket and my children’s hearts taken care of or an empty laundry basket and a child/children that feel unheard and misunderstood?
Oh Lord, give us grace, wisdom, courage and strength to keep our eyes focused on what’s important. You as a mama, are teaching and nurturing your children for all of life! And God’s Mercies are new every Morning!❤️
Maybe it’s the not the laundry basket for you, maybe it’s something else, but whatever it may be, just know it’s okay to not always have it perfect. You are human! God is the giver of much wisdom and grace! Ask Him and He will give it to you❤️
So imagine with me, that you are walking along a rugged mountain path that winds ever upward and there’s rocky rough terrain you encounter as you trudge along. Suddenly you’re startled by a noise and as you glance around to see where the noise is coming from, in your peripheral vision you catch a glimpse of a giant boulder rolling down the mountain and headed straight for you. There’s absolutely nothing you can do, no where you can go, basically you’re helpless as you watch the giant boulder rapidly heading your way directly.
Bam! It hits you. Knocks you down, flat on your back and rolls on top of you, knocking you unconscious. After some time you regain consciousness and try to gather your bearings of what just happened, basically you come to the conclusion that you’re helpless, there’s nothing you can do until someone comes to your aid.
What is your “Boulder on the Journey”? I ask this because we all have one. Maybe it’s:
Death of a loved one
The list could go on and on, but we are getting our minds spinning in the direction of what could be our “boulder on the journey”. We all have that thing, that conversation, that relationship and etc. that we dread, it weighs heavily on our minds and hearts constantly, it affects many parts of our very being.
It is reality that stares us straight in the face, we can’t run from it, no matter where we go, it’s right there, glaringly real. We grope, hesitating as we place yet one more foot forward as an act of faith. We don’t understand, we don’t have answers, yet what is before us, requires us, maybe even forces us in sheer desperation to move onward.
Pain, loss of a loved one, broken dreams, financial issues, difficult relationships and etc. they are all a real part of life. It’s hard to process through, and if we are not aware of the “Boulder” we tend to stay under it helpless for many many days, months and even years.
Brothers. Sisters. I know the pain is real, I know it’s so hard. It’s starting to feel like no one understands or even cares. But!
There’s Hope! There’s a cross that held our beloved Jesus, so many years ago. Blood splattered and stricken was He, not an easy scene to think about, but He was wounded for our transgressions and by His wounds we are healed. This is not the end for you! In fact, it’s just the beginning of a new season, a new level of healing.
It may feel like no one cares, but your Heavenly Father cares. He loves you! He wants to heal you from the scars of the boulder, will you allow Him to?
At 2:40 the morning after my brother had gone to be with Jesus, the Lord woke me and gave me these words❤️ It’s fair to say I wept as I wrote, but it was such an honor to have the Lord speak to me with the words below to share with those left behind. We weep not as those without hope, but rejoice that He knew the Lord and He is safely Home with Him now❤️
My brother, I know you would tell us
Rejoice my dear loved ones left behind
I am experiencing heaven and Jesus
His love and wonderful peace sublime.
In this world we all faced hardships
Troublesome times filled with turmoil
But rejoice my loved ones, for I am
Truly standing with Jesus on heavenly soil.
My Jesus, who died and saved my soul
I am now resting in His sweet embrace,
Theres’s so much peace and joy
In my new home in this heavenly place.
My wife, I love you, and I know it’s so hard
I am sorry, I know it was such a hard blow
But weep not as one without any hope
Because straight to Jesus I did go.
My dear children, daddy loves you so much
I am sorry I had to leave you and mama behind
I know one day we will be reunited
O Take heart, Jesus is strong and kind.
To all my family and loved ones I left behind
Give your hearts to the Father up above
Live your lives wholly surrendered to Him
He, truly is a Father of compassionate love.
Allow the Father to redeem and restore
What’s broken and hurting within
Give Him every part of you, that’s broken
He truly will cleanse you from every sin.
So weep, not as ones with out Hope
For I am safely at rest in Jesus’ embrace
My loved ones, rejoice and be glad, for
Someday we shall meet in this heavenly place.
Safely Home with Jesus. 02.27.2020
With Today being Valentine’s Day, a day of celebrating love, we spend lots of money on flowers, cards and chocolate. And I will be the first to admit that, chocolate and flowers are some of my favorite gifts that have been given to me by my dear husband. It’s a joy to receive such a fun gift.
There’s three groups of people I would like to acknowledge in this particular post regarding Valentine’s Day.
To the lady or guy that is single or widowed and you feel like no one has noticed you or even said anything about celebrating today. Maybe some of you even joked that today would best be named, single awareness day, I have been there. In fact, I used to hate Valentine’s Day, I would be absent on social media that particular day, because I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing yet one more sappy post. So yes, for some of you it’s a hard day, and it’s okay to admit that, in fact I would encourage you to admit that it’s a tough day for you. If you have lost your beloved spouse, I am sorry, my heart weeps for you. But I do want to encourage you and remind you, that you are Loved, you are important and you are cared for, first and most important, by your Heavenly Father who created you! You are Loved❤️ And I challenge you to embrace the Father in this journey you are on, May you rest knowing His grace is sufficient.
The second group of people that I want to speak to and encourage is, those of you who either didn’t get flowers, chocolate and etc. because you chose not to celebrate this Valentine’s Day, or maybe it was because financially you could not afford to buy anything extra or special. I want you to know, it’s okay! My encouragement is that you love your spouses me those around you unconditionally, and still let them know you love them and you are thankful for them. Speak words of blessing over them, that is such a gift all in itself! And when you see the sappy posts and bouquets of flowers in social media, enjoy the Beauty of them, but please don’t allow jealousy and bitterness to take root in your heart, because you don’t have any flowers! And may you also know you are Loved by your Heavenly Father, rest in that, He is Enough!
And lastly, to all the spouses and fiancés that are celebrating and did receive gifts, flowers and etc. Enjoy them, take all the pictures you want! It’s okay to do that! But also remember, the flowers will wilt, the chocolate will be ate, the most important thing is that you love each other and tell each other that! Don’t even stop that! God has brought you two together for a reason, seek Him and He will lead you. You are Loved by Him❤️
So what is Love to you? How do you show/portray love to a desperate world that longs to fulfill the God sized vacancy within them?
Frequently in today’s culture and society, love is something that feels good, sugarcoating what truth is, just like slapping a bandaid over on a wound and hoping it heals.
Just as we know that a wound will not heal if the proper care is not given, in the same way, we know at some point in every situation, truth must be spoken, and very likely feelings will be hurt and there may be someone offended by the truth.
Love is speaking the hard things, speaking truth in a society, during a time when truth is often swept under the rug and what we want to hear and what feels good to us is spoken instead.
Warrior friends, are we willing to still speak the truth, knowing it may cost us some heartaches and trials? Will you stand the test and still stand for truth? Will you love your spouse even in the hardest of times?
Just remember you are Loved by One who Died for you on the Cross.
You are Loved❤️
‘Tis a season of change’
Fall has arrived with its cool crisp air, I gladly welcome it, rejoicing greatly at its arrival, because it’s my favorite season. Summer with its warm breezes and sunshine is but a faint memory in our minds and it truly is a change of seasons. The trees are in a season of letting go of what they have been growing. The leaves are ever so pretty but it will only be a matter of time before they decorate the yard in a color array and then the brisk autumn wind will whisk them away to any nook and crevice that will hold them for a short time.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:” ~Ecclesiastes 3:1
The change of seasons and all that comes with it, has me pondering and meditating on the season of life I am in, one that only the Lord can orchestrate and enable me to walk forth in boldness, depending on Him daily, moment by moment for Grace, Strength and Wisdom, which is He so faithful to give in abundance, if only we ask!
In this season of life, in this amazing journey that the Father has me on, as a new bride and mama, I am many times, in fact daily, often moment by moment, made aware of my constant need of the Father, to stop and listen for His sweet gentle voice. If I even dare try on my own strength, I am soon left depleted and weary. I need to understand that on my own I am nothing, I CAN NOT do it!
I am very much the type that likes to know what will be happening, I want to be fully prepared for what I will face, I want to know that I have what it takes, equipped and ready to stand strong and tall. I don’t want to admit defeat. I don’t want to fail. I want to do the right thing every single time, have the correct answer in the proper tone of voice for every situation.
So just as the trees are needing to let go of what they have known for the past 6 plus months, the leaves that have made them beautiful to behold, each tree must give up the right to hold on to each single leaf that grew forth from its strong and lofty branches. No tree is exempt, from the tall, stately trees to the smallest ones, they all must let go!
I, too must let go, I must let go of wanting to get it right every single time, the need for perfection, the need for knowing what I will face each day. I must let go of hanging on to what I want and what feels comfortable and familiar to me. I must surrender.
“Let go and let God”
The truth is, on my own I will never be able to do that, but there is a God in heaven who enables and equips us with strength and grace for every moment of each day of the journey. He is faithful to give exactly what we need!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” ~II Corinthians 12:9
The stark nakedness of the trees at the end of the fall season, is a fresh reminder that in seasons of life, we too, will be stripped of what we like, what we hide behind, thinking it makes us look good, when in reality the Lord wants us to let go and allow Him to make something even better and far more beautiful out of our brokenness. So let us learn from the trees, to let go and let God.
So whether you are in a spring, summer, fall or winter season of life, may you find sweet rest in the Father, knowing that He will equip you for every part of the journey.
We all have a vague idea of what we think our lives should look like, at least what our feeble minds can fathom, but are we okay, surrendered to the Father if that changes and our lives shift so completely and we barely recognize who we are or where we are?
On the darkest of nights when the waves of pain hit you with searing blows, and the tears spill down your cheeks like a torrential river. Your heart feels like it’s been ripped in two and your lofty dreams lay shattered all across the floor on display for all the world to see.
On the day when the battle has been the realest yet, the storm is raging all around and within you, you cling to the tiniest glimmer of hope you see, yet the final blustery gusts of the storm batter your weak and exhausted body and you sink to the floor in utmost despair.
When yet another wave of grief has hit your spirit and as the new day dawns, it seems to take every ounce of strength to even get your feet on the floor and then you wonder how you will ever manage to stay on your feet?
The truth is, each one of you have experienced one or all of the scenarios above. It’s hard for our feeble minds to process through any one of the scenarios mentioned above and see the good in any of it, but is it really for us to see or even understand why God is having us walk this season of life?
There seems to be a lot of focus on understanding every scenario we are faced with, when really all the Father wants us to do is trust Him, resting and knowing that He, ultimately is the One in control and He will take care of us just as He promises.
What is our motive behind needing to understanding everything we face? Is it because we don’t trust God to be faithful and reveal His perfect plan for each moment of our lives, and we want to hang on to at least a fragment, in our feeble attempt to control what is really completely out of our hands.
Oh dear ones, may the Lord instill grace, abundant grace as you walk forth, in the season of life you are in! May He give strength to take that next step, and may you know and believe that He can be trusted, even tho the circumstances make absolutely no sense to you.
You are loved!
With head bowed, tears streaming down his face he turned and walked away from the grave where he had just laid the love of his life, he thought he had prepared himself for this moment, yet when those first shovels of dirt landed in that grave, the emotions within himself were like a fresh fountain turned wide open. The physical state of his heart felt like a freshly plowed field, each furrow laying in plain sight for all the world to see, and oh the pain, it felt like an endless, lonely road to walk.
She awoke with a start in the early morning hours, unsure of what had startled her awake, but she was aware that her physical being was in tremendous levels of pain. Her heart feeling like it was ripped from her chest and shredded into millions of unrecognizable pieces. The reality was there was a painful path she needed to walk to find healing from past wounds caused by those who should have protected but had caused pain instead. Read more 👇🏾 http://southerngalwithadventures.blog 2018/03/03/596/
A few months pass by, the heartache within him was lessening, yes of course the pain and loneliness was still ever so real, but the Father in His gentle and compassionate way was healing what had been ripped wide open, was ever so gently being knit back together. The journey was hard, but the Lord was with him and gave him strength.
For her the months that had passed were somewhat of a blur, many days she barely had the strength to keep on going, but the Father In His tender compassion carried her along and she was beginning to find joy even amidst the hardest of days and she now began to understand the Father’s love in a new dimension.
In his heart he knew that the Lord was asking him to trust Him in a new depth, and to begin to seek to love again. He knew it, he felt it and he told the Lord, one day as he was seeking Him for direction, “Even though I may never see the light of day again, I will still serve You!”
The Lord spoke to her so distinctly one day as she walked to the mailbox, “My daughter, there is part of your heart you have not entrusted to me. Will you allow me to care for the part of your heart, where a man will someday care for you? I promise you, my daughter, I will take care of you!” Her answer was a barely audible yes, despite the tears, but she knew it was the Lord speaking!
Another month passes by, and now it’s obvious, the Lord has and is still speaking. A prophetic word given by the Lord is being fulfilled and while she never dreamt a story would unfold as such, the Lord orchestrated and sees a picture much bigger then we could ever lay our eyes on. What a mighty God we serve!🙌🏽💃🏽😭
“For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.” Psalms 66:10-12
Two lives, two hearts, and now He has led them together, to pursue each other, to dare to love again!